The Baby Cub

"Auntie Laney, I just woke up"

Where's McDreamy?

The Emergency room was the last place I expected to be yesterday when I woke up but that's where I was with my mom as the doctors took some x-rays and some other tests on her foot. After two hours in the waiting room, and another four in the treatment room, I was wondering if this was the version viewers actually miss on tv with all the medical dramas out there, Grey's Anatomy and House.

As the two doctors were discussing the best option for my mother, I felt like I was sitting behind the box waiting for them to deliver the next punch line or answer the $64,000 question as to what was the problem. I needed someone to pinch me or send out the hounds to the person who services the Pepsi machines..."Nurse, the machine ate my money, could you please put a sign on it saying it's out of service?" "They didn't teach us at nursing school how to fix the machine and we're not responsible for it." So where in my question did I ask you to fix the machine?

I waited patiently on the old waiting room chairs for McDreamy to pop by to see my mom...didn't happen, but she did get help from some great doctors who prescribed the "super aspirins" to take away the pain.

Christmas Wish List

As Christmas was only a few days away, Stinky asked for my top three pick of wish list celebrities...you know, the list of fantasy dates, the if-a, would-a, could-a, definitely do-a's!

Granted, I love the intellectual brainiacs, it's hard to explain, but perhaps it's because they know something that I don't; but not just so, it's me being able to digest how they really think...what makes them tick. But because this list is really based on eye candy and the closest I can get to these celebrities is through the tabloids and on my screensaver, I have come up with my quick and easy list for 2006.

In no particular order:

1. Jude Law was made to be perfect in Gattaca, got me in The Talented Mr. Ripley, was dirt and scumbags lately in real life but redeemed his desirable charm in The Holiday. Watch it and you'll know what I mean.

2. Keanu Reeves. I don't care if he likes to live life a little on the gruff side...because you know he can clean up his act. Stinky feels he's had his day...but no way, not in my books.

3. Takeshi Kaneshiro. *Sigh*. I've been sheltered from the asian scene for years and then out came this movie and I was mesmerized ever since.

Santa, I was really really really good this year and you can find me on your NICE list. :)

Certify That!

GBF & his cousin met up with me and Stinky for a bevy before a movie the other night. We started talking about me moonlighting from my day job as a wedding planner but in actuality, my day job is supplementing my dreams.

GBF's cousin: So how does one become a wedding planner? Did you take a course?

Me: I just watched the movie, decided I wanted to be like J.Lo and that's how it all started.

GBF's cousin: I didn't mean it like that, I mean...does a model go to school to be a model?

Me: Well, you could really take a course and be a "certified wedding planner." It is out there.

GBF's cousin: So does that mean you can plan your own wedding?

Me: Dude, I'm never getting married.

GBF's cousin: What? Why not? Just find a castle...

GBF: She has to find a boyfriend first!

Me: Yeah, find me a castle in France, then I'll get married.

GBF's cousin: Is that all it takes?

Yes, if only getting married was so easy...I prefer to be on the planning end, there's no emotional attachment and I can't be labelled as a bridezilla...hehe.

To the Sounds of Your Own Beat

It's good to be different...cuz you can be "accidentally cool".

Item: GBF; Quality: AAAAAA+++

Okay, so that GBF has been defined, it seemed like they all seem to come out from hiding...well, or out of the woodwork. We all have one, a best friend to a degree, and of the opposite sex - that is for certain. It's fun this way. Someone that you can bounce your odd questions to, that only the opposite can answer. Why? I'm not sure...but ask any of your girlfriends the same question and forget it, you're not getting advice. Someone you could rely on and won't make you cry. Oh..99% of the time (I need to put the 1% in there...how could I rely on him if he's not even here right?...hehe)

So when Lychee mentioned that she had a GBF too, I felt that someone else felt the same way. Of how another person is to her in her life. A small bond between girls, yet definable in a big way.

Then Lemon mentioned her friend asked if he was her GBF too...(We both did not realize the word GBF was international - dude, that's my word, wth?). The fact that someone wanted to be GBF...hmmm...does he really know the true meaning of the word? Who knew it would hold that esteem? I'm currently working on MBF...is it an upgrade? Hmm...can you really upgrade this stuff? Lemon's friend doesn't even want to be known as MBF...He liked the "G" in it. It would make GBF proud.

But even though I got the original one, Lemon a wannabe one, Lychee still has the real deal. No imitation. Like Coca Cola, you just can't beat the real thing.

Interventions / Interferences / Influences

Things that make me go hmmm....obviously the gods above know what they are doing, but sometimes, you just have to wonder.

1) Lemon, we really did not do an "intervention" on you. We are not pushing you to wear makeup because we think you need it. We are just impressed with this product and thought you may enjoy it as much as we did. It's one of those items which you can put in your back pocket and go "voila!"

2) So how come it's the day that I was going to drink more water and eat healthy that the city said that the tap water is unsafe and we have to boil everything? I don't have time for this. Hmmm...something else that's clear and I can drink...please pass the vodka.

Or maybe it's just one of those inner words you really want someone else to say for you and didn't want to do it alone.

Me: Ginn, no matter what, you have to stop me from buying anything.

Ginn: OK.

An hour later and the plastic's been rung through.

Me: GINN??!!

Ginn: Oops..hehe.

And then a clincher from today that I wonder...if it's a sign of some sort...

I went for a massage today and showed up a few minutes earlier to fill out the medical form. Regular questions were all checked off and then I hesitated at the following:

Did you drink alcohol in the last 24 hours?

It was a simple Yes or No answer. It was probably not the best thing that I started to giggle that I couldn't quite remember. It's only 24 hours...how could I not be certain of that? The liquid was clear. And that's all I'm writing.

Little Guy Tristan

My ideal guy was once described by me like this:

what am i looking for in a guy? hmm..besides the 'normal' things every other
girl is looking for (tall, dark handsome???) ...when you first meet them, sure
looks and attraction are key, afterwards, they have to have a kind heart and be
genuine..guys who are confident but not over confident (cocky or arrogant...gag
me), a little bit shy, but hopefully not as shy as me, cuz then we'll just get
nowhere..hehe, likes to smile and laugh, sense of humor..or same as mine at
least and can make fun of themselves...i like guys with brains...gives me food
for thought..inspires me, believes in me but also keeps me grounded, mutual
respect....he has to have fire, motivated, goals, dreams, ambition...and i want
to see the sparks when we talk...that's my prince charming...i have to be able
to talk to them first b4 i can figure out the rest of it...sparks are key. my
previous 'attractions' all had similar features too...they were dark and
somewhat taller, and had defined bone structure...it's a little surreal...maybe
a preference, not sure...oh yeah, tall is good, i want tall babies, i'm doing it
for them! hahaha.....but i read this quote somewhere "looking for a mr. right,
not a mr. right now"

As of November 30th, I have a new man in my life that I have loved from the second I laid eyes on him...my nephew...it's like my brother got me a brand spankin' new toy that will keep me preoccupied for a long time. He's nice and warm and oh-so-cuddly. He doesn't have any other motive than to let me play with him and keep me warm. So ideal. When it's time for a feeding or a change, I easily hand off to mommy and daddy. Heehee...Life is good.

An Analysis of a Different Kind...

Working with Finance people all day, I hear them weighing out different scenarios relating to cost and benefit. Then I hear them take their same way of thinking and apply it to every day life.

Eating - Is the taste of shrimp so enjoyable that I would spend the time to peel it?

Then you get non-finance peeps apply the same philosophy to their lives...

Dating - Is the sex that good that I'm willing to sacrifice for boring personality?

Shopping - Am I really saving money if I actually spend $20 to get a $30 coupon if I really didn't need to buy anything at all from that store?

So what is worth it?

A Tall Order

So many stories from this one wedding but I think I will have to split it all up...

Old friend: So why are you still single? (if I had a nickel for every time I heard it that evening...)

Me: Why not? (my favorite and sarcastic response)

Old friend: I'm going to set you up...

Me: No, don't, I don't do well with that....unless he's 6 feet tall!

Old friend: 5'8

Me: Nope...I wear 3" heels...no can do.

Three Blondes and an Afro

Like a favored drink of seasons past (Two Hashbrowns and an English Muffin - really, that was the name!), a night out with the girls was more yummy as the night went on. Granted, it was Halloween and we were being silly and why the heck not, it's kinda fun when you take life less seriously. Except when Stinky wore the big ol' afro in a meeting and her audience wouldn't take her financial analytical reasonings seriously...besides that, donning my blonde wig close to 5pm, I was ready to go chill with my girls and be pampered like a rockstar. Lemon supplied us with some sippy cups (if they really knew what was inside that Starbucks cup, people should really be forewarned about the dangers of not just caffeine) and brought her camera so that Stinky and Ginn could do their supermodel thang. ;)

Some quotes of the evening...as we went on to enjoy the 2nd cup of deliciousness...

Stinky: Are we really going to watch a movie?

Me: I just parked! BUT, what did you want to do??

Stinky: We're all dressed up so we should go out!

Lemon, Ginn and I looked at each other and go...: Ok, where to then?

Stinky: Just remind me I have a meeting tomorrow at 9:30am!

* * *

Stinky: Oh, I finally had an Oh Henry chocolate bar today...

Ginn/Lemon (fuzzy recollection): First time in Canada?

Stinky: Yeah...

Me: Oh, I prefer Mr. Bigs!

Lemon (not letting one slip her by...): Oh, you would too!

* * *
Me: I feel like we're up to no good, with our wigs and get-ups...like we're going to rob a bank or something...I feel strange.

Everyone stops and seemed to contemplate the prospect of that scenario...

* * *

While still enjoying each other's company and laughter at the restaurant, the waitress decides to toss our sippy cups for us and immediately, all of us looked at each other and hoped that she wasn't curious enough to take a peek inside the Starbucks cup and realize why we only ordered water all night long.

The Return of the...

At a wedding with GBF and chatting with the guests at the table...

Guest: So, are you guys married?

Never been asked that question by anyone when we're out together, we both became dumbstruck and didn't really respond...

Guest seemed to be a little awkward but continued: So then...are you guys dating?

That's when we had to break it to her...a little bit giggling and a little bit flushed...

Me: Ums...well..it's hard to explain...

Guest seemed to clue in: Oh...like Will & Grace???

Me: YES!

Guest: Yeah, I have one of them too.

Me (to GBF): hehe...Can I tell her what I call you?

GBF: Sure...

Me: I call him GBF!

GBF: I'm not gay...

Guest: Neither is mine!

Me (to GBF): See! Everyone has one!!

GBF: Yeah, but I should be the OGBF...the Original!

Sure, you can be the original, or even bgf as you wanted, not sure which one would sound any better..because, really best gay friend??...c'mon, think about it...in the end, you know who you are, who you are to me, and isn't that all that matters?? (Yeah, someone who finds me great food to eat! Hehe..woohoo!)

King Kong, GO HOME!

Ok, it's Halloween. It's time to play dress up...or find an alter ego that would be fun to live for one night or two. I found a platinum blonde wig. It's different than the big ol' afro I wigged out on last year. Good enough for a costume. Dropped by a friend's party. Met some friends of friends of friends. A guy with a furry chest comes strolling by and oozes out his machismo charm. That's when the lines of friendliness begin to wane. This is not a movie. I've literally stopped drinking on purpose. A punked out Lychee comes to save me with her plastic stethoscope. King Kong, I'm not your Barbie. I don't do well with grunts.

The Lingering Effect

It's inevitable that you get loaded down with a pile of work when you come back from a longer-than-two day vacation...which leads me to plan my next vacation. "Oh my god, these are the reasons why I need to go away!" Not only overloaded with work, I was lucky to get a case of the sniffles that knocked me out cold for a couple of days. So while my bags sat unpacked and the oils of the fragrantly-scented body scrub soaked its way through my belongings (dang the baggage handlers who opened my luggage but didn't put things back properly!), I was pleasantly surprised by the following comment...I always knew I had it in me...teehee :)

Me: So did you miss me?

Lychee: I hate to admit it, but yeah, I did...

Me: I knew I had qualities that linger!!!

Lychee: yeah, the silliness...the nagging...I'll get enough of you soon enough!

Truth About Cats & Dogs

Things have been so crazy lately that it's taking me awhile to put up some thoughts...some thoughts are not meant to be forgotten and I am using this tool in case I ever develop Alzheimers (I would not hope it on anyone!).

If ever there were moments when you would wonder what makes one tick, some quotes from some guys are definitely not helping with my analysis of the male gender.

Indecent Proposition...

Me: So how's it going with all the girls in hawaii?

The Carleton: None. If I can't find anyone to marry here, I think I'd have to marry you so we can exchange visas.

Me: Hmm...with both of us in the wedding profession, that was by far the most unromantic proposal I've ever heard! Let me wipe that tear away!

Leads to...

Me: Is it weird knowing that your ex-gf married someone so quickly after your breakup?

Flaky*: Hmm...it was only after ten months.

Me: Was he different than you?

Flaky: There was no improvement.

Me: *speechless*.

And then those that make you really wonder what goes on in guys' heads...

Me: Let me ask you some questions to help figure out what type of girl your gf is....does she have siblings? Brothers and sisters?

MetroBoy**: Yeah, she comes from a big family. Three older sisters and one younger brother.

Me: Ahhh...trying to go for the boy huh?

MetroBoy: Yup...the parents really didn't want her.

Me: EXCUSE ME?

MetroBoy: Well, don't u think they would stop earlier if they had the son sooner?

I have yet to figure out any of these characters...not quite sure yet if I want to know more...

*Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
**Name to be explained in future post.

Mr. Whiffy...smell yourself!

I always tell my friends that I prefer to date Asian fellas because they usually have less body odor than most. We concluded that maybe it had to do with the lack of hair on their bodies (thank goodness!) but tonight, Jellybean and I got a whiff of something too aromatic for our sensitive noses.

We lucked out and got Mr. Whiffy to be our server at a wedding. Not only did he leave something less desired, he had the grouchiest face for a person in the service industry. After much anticipation for the food because it was so delayed, we were happy to see that the service began for the tables. Mr. Whiffy leaned over to place individual portions of each dish on the lazy susan and Jellybean was fortunate enough to sit in his pathway. The look on her face changed slowly but dramatically as she sniffed the air under his armpit. Unpleasant...yes. Bearable...barely. Holding her breath became a contest each time he approached the table. It also possibly caused us to lose our appreciation of the ten-course meal as he would lean over for each course.

My myth of asians being without body odor is now dashed. Mr. Whiffy was one smelly cat!

One for the Memory Cards

At another one of our six-month rituals, Lemon already highlighted the major events of the evening but I really want to show one of the highlights I noticed on my camera the next day.

Given that Stinky gave me the drink that did me over for the evening, ("I don't get it, how come you got so drunk...hehe...OH..was it the double I bought you last night?...he..hehehe") I might as well show you what I captured in my inebriated state. Thank goodness for image stabilization!

Daily Shenanigans

Lychee and I were catching up and discussing what opportunities there may be to meet new faces...

Lychee: What do you mean? What is there to do?

Me: Something different than just working?

Lychee: I wake up, go to work, go home, sleep.
I wake up, go to work, work with gay guys, go home, sleep.
I wake up, go to work, work with gay guys, check out other guys with said gay guys, go home and sleep.

Lychee: Although, I don't know if the eye candy is gay or not....

Me: Dude, you gotta get out more.

What do I know, and the day after our conversation, my friends decide to head to a bar/club/lounge for the sake of ...staying out - how can the girls say no to free cover and the guys to $5 cover?? What have we got to lose? Maybe my sanity? This was an establishment whose reputation was for foreign exchange students and on average for those just making legal age with their fake IDs. The PM Crew strolled directly to the dance floor with the neon lights to strut their stuff. To their right were the Napoleon Dynamite wannabees with almost all the right moves but Napoleon did it first, I must admit, it was great the first time. "OH MY, the black light on that dude's white socks are blinding me!!!" To their left were the girls with high hopes of getting into the next reality show with their choreographed dance moves. Ums...no comment.

At a place where one is to have some fun, we find Pizza Lover reading the paper...cuz that's what he always does at clubs. So in a place purely not meant for us, I get approached by a fella who asked what my nationality was and if I was still in school. "Dude, I'm so much older than you." And my friends loved it so much they captured the moment on a memory card. With such experiences, I'll stick to "I wake up, go to work, go home, sleep." However, stepping outside the comfort zone slow once in awhile...not so bad...

Survivor: Hair Segregation

A colleague is about to head to the tropics and besides her dilemma of how many bikinis to bring (last count was about 7), she's been contemplating how she should get waxed. Yes, great conversation topic at the office but breaks up the time staring at spreadsheets. So based on which bikini she was going to bring, (ie. white verses non-white) she will have to decide to go brazilian or leave a landing strip. Her decision: "There will be no survivors today!"

The Challenge of Golf

Some days start out as easy-as-pie and others seem to have a slight obstacle or two. The "Golf Challenge" with Stinky, Kit Kat and Beer Goggles hit the rough a couple of times on a normally-relaxed Sunday morning...

Conversations are somewhat edited but are based on actual events. ;)

Me: Are you guys awake?

Kit Kat: Yes

Me: Ok, I think you have to be at the course SOON...you'll never make it to wedding otherwise...

Stinky: We missed the last tee time before the tournament begins...where are they??

Me: Er...hmm...

Thankfully the pro shop attendant persuaded the older tournament guys to let us tee off before them...don't think they realized we would take so long but we realized their frustrations with waiting as they began to tee off before we left for the next hole. Their aim was pretty good...not sure if it was at us or the pin...

I also realized that hearing "FORE" screamed out does not assist me in actually hiding from the errant golf ball as I have no idea which direction it is coming from on an open golf course.

To summarize:

Golf Lessons: $300

Bucket of Practice Balls: $5.50

Green Fee: $33.00

Team Spirit: Yes, for the girls' team.

Mosquito Bites: 8 (the girls deflected the buggers to the unsuspecting boys!; last count, Kit Kat 5 and Beer Goggles 3)

Lost Club Cover: 1

Recovered Club Cover: 1 (tourney guys had it in his clubs)

Number of trees hit by a golf ball: More than 3 (no trees were hurt from the stunts that we are aware of)

Number of times the ball went backwards from tee off: 1 (it should be noted we had somewhat quick reflexes)

Posing like Camilo Villegas: Yes (didn't think it was possible.)

Number of swear words increasing at an exponential rate of 10 by Beer Goggles: 1

Beating Beer Goggles and rubbing it in: Priceless

That's NOT Competition!

Out with Lychee on a shopping crawl down South of the border and one of the many conversation topics we had was about hot guys...well, in this case, a celebrity du jour. I won't name him but BossyBoots states "Who names a kid Wentworth?" While agreeing that the guy is pretty darn attractive, we got word that he bats for the other team...his team...

Lychee: Another one?! What? ...No!

Me: That's what I heard...I know...

Lychee: We already have to deal with the younger pretty things out there, now they're going to attract the pretty boys too...

Me: Yeah...WAIT a minute! That's NOT competition girl! They wouldn't have gone our way regardless! Just deal with the young'ins!

* * *
We didn't have to deal with reality for too long, Lychee couldn't stop staring at the border guy and he definitely seemed to bat for our team.

Just Like the Movies...

Kit Kat: I think dating scene is different from years ago.

Me: Hmm...I dunno, dating scene is kinda dead for me....I'm just the wedding planner!

Kit Kat: It sounds like a movie

Me: It is...except I don't have the Gucci shoes!

"That's Him"

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

You're in Canada When...

At a wedding, the emcee states "You know you're attending a wedding in Canada when you have a Hungarian/Jamaican guy emceeing for an Irish groom, a Vietnamese bride at a wedding planned by a Chinese girl that is married to a Japanese guy." Those are the facts.

So You Think You Can Eat

We had a team lunch today at an all-u-can-eat restaurant. I'm not a super fan of these types of establishments only because I can never eat that much food to make it worth my while, OR I will try to eat that much just to make it my money's worth. Either option does not give me any advantage.

I knew things would get ugly when we started going around the table and placing orders on the menu. Of course, at the point of ordering, everyone was starving, so your eyes are always bigger than your stomach.

Two scenarios came up that still keeps me laughing:

Scenario 1:

Waitress: How many pieces did you want of the item?

Big P: I want 4...(clearly his fingers were raised up and showing 3)

All the other accountants at the table exclaimed immediately: FOUR?!

Big P: Uh yeah...er...just checking to see if you were all paying attention. (um yeah, no wonder there was so much leftover pieces on the table because of the miscounts!)

Scenario 2:

Watching Petit devour everything on the table that was handed to him because he thought we would really be charged for all the items not eaten. Yeah...we were all laughing, but we didn't know who would throw up first...him or us watching him.

Golf Swings

After work, at the driving range...Stinky and I are situated in between a shirtless fella (is that golf-appropriate?) and a guy in dress shirt and slacks...after a couple of missed swings, it hits me...

Me: Ums...STINKY...would one side of our bodies be more developed than the other because of our swing???

Stinky: Hmm...no, you swing both ways...so it should be fine......hmmm...besides, you won't be working out your side that much that the muscles will overdevelop!!!

Stepford Wives

Still moping about the loss of GBF in my near vicinity, I think I found a new passion to replace him...okay, maybe replace is too strong a word, but this is something that has temporarily taken away the gloom and doom of missing a dear friend. Yup...GOLF...go figure...I talked about it before, but never thought I would actually fall in love with it. I mean, it is still early in the game, and Stinky and I already met some challenges along the way.

Stinky: The Executive Course ain't Pitch 'n Putt eh?

The addiction comes when you actually feel like you can tee off like Tiger...sweet. Okay Stinky, why did you talk me into trying this sport?? It is so bloody expensive when we hit Golf Town to check out the equipment and realize what I would need to acquire.

Me: Damn, even cute golf clothes are expensive?!

A friend of a friend who met up with us explained things really well on which type of golf set would be suitable for me..."Because you are starting out, if you don't like how it looks, you will not use it."

Lychee heard about my new love of this game and said that it's great and I can work towards becoming a Stepford Wife...hmmm...didn't realize they played golf? Why would I want to be a cookie-cutter suburbia housewife?

Either way, I found my sport and Lemon renamed GBF to stand for Golf's Best Friend.

P.S. Don't worry, you're still GBF!

Friendship Clause

I have come to the conclusion that I would have to include a caveat when meeting/making new friends..."thou shall not move to other cities...or you gotta take* me with you!" It is too difficult and I'm never normally this emotional. ARgh!

GBF: Still sad?

Me: What do you think?

GBF: Well, think of it this way, you're only losing one friend, I'm losing lots!

Me: Hmmm...good point. I feel all better now...makes it easier to replace u!

GBF: Well, I've replaced you already!

Me: What?!?

GBF: With Alcohol.

*Well, depends on the geographical location...if undesirable, you can't leave ;)

A La Mode

Mmmmmm....my tummy is still digesting. I realize that there's some friendships in life that's so worth keeping...these are the ones who drop their plans when they sense you may need a fix (or two) of applie pie a la mode...or a new addition of chocolate lava cake a la mode...of course we take into consideration our MAIN meals so we ordered one salad to share as an appy :)

It's so easy when you only need to say one word to someone and they know exactly how you feel...or that I do not feel alone with the emotions I have regarding certain situations. That all the crazy thoughts you've bottled up inside can actually be heard and comforted. Thanks Lychee...I really appreciate it...it's true...it's the friendships that become your family that is A La Mode...topped with ice cream..and hey, who doesn't love ice cream?

Got to Pay to Play!

You know the day will be amusing when hanging out with GBF & GD...dull is not in the vocabulary. At the dim sum table, digesting much-anticipated steamed dumplings at Shanghai River in Richmond...(much anticipated because we let them indulge in the full World Cup Finals before we got to eat...so what did we do but lounged in the sun with wine and our feet up on the patio! Stinky: "When is it too early to drink?!")

GBF: So full, now all I want to do is lie on a beach and sleep...

GD: Wreck Beach?

Stinky: Is everyone naked there?

GBF: The grossest image is seeing old men with leathery skin and fanny packs selling their wares.

Stinky: GD, you've been to Wreck Beach?

Me: OH GD, were you a voyeur or an exhibitionist?

GD: Well, you have to PAY to PLAY

My steamed dumpling just did a flip in my tummy.

You Not Knowin?!!!

This was quite an interesting 24 hours...short blips to contain it all...

Grande Starbucks cup without a lid:

Lemon: Lychee, it's not water in that cup yo!

Lychee: What in the world are you two girls up to...

Me: It's just very sweet 7-up! :)

Starting off the night just right, Lychee and I joined Lemon at her lawyer party where singledom were to be aplenty...(ums hardly!)...you know it's going to be awry when the host points at you for the longest time and goes "I know you." Hmm...I didn't expect to know anyone except the girl to my left and the girl to my right. (Damn!)

Some amusements ensued with some free pour of crown shots (that was a full bottle you gave him no?)...and go Lychee!! You did the shots too, I'm so proud!
- - -
Washroom Etiquette with our new-found male friends...

Archie: No, you girls go first...

Me: You know I really have to, but look at that guy, he's really doing a dance...he can't even stand near us...he's really concentrating...

Lychee: Just go! Hurry!
- - -
What's yours is ours...

Feeling comfortable..or courageous from the intake of the liquid version...Digging in the freezer of our host's looking for dessert...oooh...ice cream...NEW ONE TOO!

Lychee: Do you mind if we eat this?

Me: Do you mind that we're actually eating straight out of the container with our spoons?
- - -

To get the full gist of the "You NOT knowin'" backstory, you really had to be there. And it's not because of the broken english...it sounds like it, but it's how this guy supposedly explained why he's experiencing hypothermia @ Naked Sushi...correct me if I'm wrong Lemon, but it's because he said he was so lean that the friends he was with "was NOT KNOWIN'" what kind of lean body he had!?! (Perhaps it was a good thing he was said to have some type of e.coli poisoning and missed the party...hmm...him and food, not so hygienic eh?)
- - -

Drunk Calling

Lemon is now banned from the use of electronic devices (namely cell phones) once she fails the breathalizer test! Stop drunk calling people girl! Especially from digits off my phone...regardless of who they are because you do not even recall the conversation yourself! You do hide your drunkenness well...got to admit that, and this case is closed. :P

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Do not attempt this at home...

Ok, drinking and trying to be helpful cleaning out the common room for the host. May not be the brightest and possibly just adding more work for him and Lemon.

Me: How do you use this vacumn cleaner? All I could do was plug it in...

Random Girl Playing Pool: It's awesome to hear that girls these days are not the typical domesticated ones and have other ambitions in life!

GBF: You know you should really carry your cell phone around...(that's what I remembered from that part of the conversation)

I think I was a bit shocked as I had no idea how he got inside the common room of the building, nor how he found the place frankly...I'm pretty sure I stared at him for awhile before I realized who I was looking at...but his arrival saved me from cleaning up the rest of the dishes! Woohoo!

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Fast forward to a couple hours later...1:30am...McD's drive-thru with Lychee...we both sobered up but obviously not enough to "say No to deep fried chicken nuggets"...maybe this is why we love karaage...getting nostalgic over chicken, fries and diet coke...parked the car watching this dude jump out of the passenger seat...we knew right away...the guy needs to find a washroom...cars behind were honking them and the driver screams "he needs to take a PISS!!!"

Lychee: Dear Lord...

Me: Hey, it's like the drive-thru...entertainment...and I'm sure they can see us if we can see them!

Afterwards, GBF rolls up in his car next to our two parked cars trying to "solicit going-away sex"...

Me: You drove all the way here to ask that? Do you not know the answer?

Of course we are screaming all this through the windows and I'm sure everyone who's getting MickeyD's is quite enjoying our conversation....

GBF: Fine then, how about a BJ?!

Lychee: Throw the pants over first?! We got to check things out first!

Unbeknownst to us, the guy who ran to find a bush came up behind our cars in the middle of our conversation and tried to pick Lychee up....after the initial shock...the three of us laughed so hard but the guy in the pink shirt and white glasses would not leave...

GBF: I'm trying to ask these girls for sex...

Punk #1: You know them? What's her number? What's her name? (Punk #1 turns to Lychee and starts speaking in mandarin)

Punk #1 in mandarin: You speak mandarin? Do you understand? What's your number?

I was laughing for five straight minutes, selectively heard only parts of the conversation because of the laughter and that I could not believe this was happening at the 'drive-thru'...GBF was no help because he too was laughing...Lychee was on her own...

Punk #2 (thinking he's going to be his friend's wing man): So, you speak mandarin, who is this guy (GBF)...

Lychee: GBF's trying to pick us up, we don't know him

Punk #2: Oh...he's just like US..A BaNaNa..JUST LIKE US!...(I can honestly say that the "punks" were no bananas...nor were they like us...they wanted to race GBF in their car...

Finally, Lychee got into her car and again, Punk #1 runs up beside her door and is persistent about wanting her digits...no can do buddy, please leave, you disrupted 'a moment.'

Me: Lychee...you realize, they could follow you home?!

Laughter erupts.

Fairytales

"...I don't believe that in order to be interesting or meaningful, a relationship has to work out -- in fiction or in real life. In fact, I consider a forced happy ending in a book almost as bad as a real couple who get married even though their friends know they shouldn't. ...I love swelling music and kisses at sunset as much as the next woman...But as I've gotten older, I've realized that when it comes to love, it's the journey that matters as much as the destination. And the messiness is part of what makes romance so fascinating in the first place. Movies and books lead us to believe that if a relationship doesn't end in marriage, it didn't count, but that's absurd. Even unrequited crushes can provide hard-won insights into ourselves and our lives." -- Curtis Sittenfeld

Man Enough for Blue Tights, Red Cape

After listening to Kit Kat tell his many reasons on why he's Superman's #1 fan and his excitement and anticipation for the recently released movie...I had to go watch it. Mind you, I was going to watch it eventually as I love superheroes especially old-school style a la Incredibles, just a bit reluctant as Brandon Routh had big shoes to fill. (What's with all the replacement issues lately?? :) ) Christopher Reeve was the superhero in blue tights I remember and his demeanor (and looks!) was what I admired. How do you erase your childhood images of Superman when I fell in love with "that" Superman at an impressionable age and accept a new one??

So I try to be open-minded and see what Brandon Routh is all about.

Looks. Check. Was it me or did he get better after every frame?? :)

MannerISMS. Check. Apparently, he's got it down, even the quirky goofball ones. (Secretly enjoying every moment!).

Saves the World? Hmm...I won't divulge as to not spoil it for anyone...but I can say the determination in his eyes makes him pretty sexy.

Bonus feature: My favorite song (one of them)...made it into the film at a goofy, touching moment: Quando quando quando.

Don't think I like the new movie because of "one" man...Kevin Spacey is pretty good as Lex Luthor...not many guys can pull off bald and evil and he can do both! OOh! Parker Posey was great although she reminded me of another character she played in a different movie...Kate Bosworth as Lois..hmm...could have been a better choice but since have no suggestions...was ok...not enough chemistry between her and Superman...not brangelina-worthy.

Did Brandon Routh fill the shoes? Yeah...cuz no one "flies like the way he does."

Trained Young -- Totally Obvious...

I always admired how dedicated Tiger (need I write a last name..not!) is to his sport...yeah...golf..never really enjoyed watching freshly-cut grass on TV until Tiger got into the game. Then I was somewhat hooked to just watching him make the next "decision" in his head..the next shot of birdie or eagle...or if I'm lucky, the hole-in-one. Then you start to find out when Tiger got into the love of the game, or how he learned to be so good. His father started him off at a very young age...in the right path to being the super athlete he is today.

While trying to master a new sport (a much more laid-back one compared to say...running)...Stinky (formerly known as Militant A) and I were taking golf lessons after a night on the town. Note to self: do not book a lesson after a planned night of excessive drinking and potential lack of sleep. The motion of a golf swing can really hurt you in more ways than one! ;). Afterwards, a few more peeps decided to practice at the driving range...I decided to sit back, get a tan, and scope out the eye-candy...instead I see a bunch of grade-schoolers practicing their swing...holy hanna!..it's true..these kids start off young and could be the next Tiger! Why didn't my parents start me off young?? :)

Apparently I found another evidence of this type of training and the success rate. Kit Kat mentioned his love of hockey stats and how he used to read the paper and study the hockey almanac (there is such a thing?) as a kid. Of course this may all be due to his idol --> Wayne (yes, should be another no-brainer, one-named super athlete). Kit Kat took a calculator and calculated game stats and projections...you think this has led to his career in finance and budget planning??? (heheh) He started telling me random digits that I personally cannot recall for the life of me save for a recollection of a few #s in the range for a ten digit student number back in university days. (hehe...come on...ten digits, you have a one in 10 chance of getting one of the numbers ;) ) He told me his driver's licence number...but when would I need to remember that too? Tell me when it has been useful!

Kit Kat: When we were in Japan, I took down phone numbers for Beer Goggles because he did not have a pen...

Me: The Beer Goggles Girl???

Kit Kat: no, someone else...

Hmm...if only I didn't stop Kit Kat from reciting all the numbers he knew...hehe..I'm sure they will all come in handy one day ;)

Recruiting for Stannie 2

This is by far one of the toughest challenges ever...who would have thought? Then again, it's not so easy replacing a good friend, let alone my GBF.

GBF: So how goes the search?

Me: hmm...damn, harder than I thought..the original choices are only hanging on by a thread and even with that..I'm not so sure...

Me: Beer Goggles asked what being "GBF" pays?!

GBF: Pays? It's a volunteer position!

Me: I know that! haha...frankly, I think he has the acronym mixed up and does not know the real meaning behind the "G". *sigh*...

After a brief catch-up on the phone of recent events, I realize it's that GBF listens to what I say and already knows why I would vent or what would make me upset. It's not the other requirements I listed as those important to replacing him...

Me: Damn, what am I going to do in 2 weeks?!

Image Associations

It happens, you talk to several people on msn and when you think the cursor is in the right conversation, you hit send before you realize the mistake.

*All names changed to protect their identity - really, it is only to protect you should you ever come across him!

...in the middle of a conversation about something somewhat random...

Me: Bob* something?

Kit Kat: Wong*?

Kit Kat: the Chicken Wing Dude?!

Me: uh..Say What?

Kit Kat: Oh

Kit Kat: Oops

Kit Kat: READ THE WRONG SCREEN!!
...
Kit Kat: Bob was at a client once

Kit Kat: and he was holding on to a drumstick and chewing it

Kit Kat: when the client walked in and asked him questions

Me: hmm...classy! Should I ever meet said Bob Wong, the first thing that will pop in my head is "HE'S THE CHICKEN WING DUDE!" no matter what else I learn from him from then on!!!

Because he's "Nice"

Golddigger, a source of many entries, (I wonder why sometimes, and I think it's because he enjoys being a rock star, and because he doesn't have a care in the world..or does he?)...he offers his pet peeves and observations on a regular basis...here's one...

GD: I hate it when girls respond with "because he's nice" when asked why they like a guy. Shouldn't the guy be nice to begin with? Isn't that part of the general minimal characteristics/qualities a guy should have?

Me: Yeah, I would like to think so! Bare minimum and the rest is just a bonus. But not all girls think that way, there IS usually more substance behind it. (Some unexplainable...)

GD: Nope, everytime I ask a girl, she responds with the same Nice-factor. Blech. I need more.

Me: But sometimes the one word nice describes many things to an individual.

GD: So then...why would you like a guy?

Me: Hmm...er...only because you keep repeating the word...because he's nice?

"Food" Samples @ the Market

Many people seem to love the food sample stands at Costco. It's a live version of an infomercial and you get to sample the product..and if well made, you're enticed right away to bring the item home. While being at Costco, we're able to read the labels and easily figure out what exactly you are eating - salsa, chicken, mini pizzas...you get the drift. When you get to the Asian supermarkets, that is when the items become tricky, because the labels may not be in the language we are accustomed to. Sure, I can identify a wonton or a green-onion pancake...but something that looks bit more..."exotic" or does not look like anything I've ever eaten before..may not entirely entice me.

After eating at the food fair, we decided to browse inside the supermarket to see what snacks are available. While trying to still digest my lunch, I was walking slowly behind Lemon when we noticed there were many food sample stands near us. Lemon only had a few bites of lunch so she had the munchies but had no particular craving. It's great stuff, similar to sampling a variety of gelato before committing to one flavor (or two). She dives right in to see what was available. However, before the brain sensor tells my hand to move towards Lemon to stop her from reaching for the sample from the paper cup...she throws her head back and swallows the "soup" in one gulp.

Me: Damn Lemon! Do you even know what that sh*t is??? There was no sign anywhere near promoting the concoction. All I saw was a bag, full of nondescriptive dried herbs (I think that's what I saw!)

Lemon: Huh? oh..hmm..

Me: It could've been testosterone-producing stuff, or liquid viagra..or stuff not meant for us females?!

Lemon: Oh well...(and has a good laugh). Iron stomach.

Me: Dear Lord, you sure would be quite entertaining on trips as you would just about try anything and I would have to bring along a first aid kit for your impending tummy troubles!

Walk of Shame

Sometimes incidents jog your memory and you tend to revisit past events...

One summer night a few years ago, my colleagues and I decided to paint the town red...(bonding with colleagues, sometimes it can be fun, sometimes...it just does not work.)...these planned outings, they always seemed to work and one person always ends up being the superstar for the evening. We reserved a couple of hotel rooms close to the scene of the crime and the party began. It was a costume event and everyone decided to bring their clothes to my room and change. Half an hour later and various bottles of stoli sat on the desk empty...and we were out the door.

Venue: Commodore (home of the bouncy danceable floor!)
Liquid Dinner: Shots I never knew existed...and can I actualy say those out loud?!
Time at club: not long...
Entertainment: Honestly can't recall.
Priceless Moment: Having your drunken colleague bust in on you while you are being sick in the closed cubicle because she felt she was sober to take care of you.

All of us somehow managed to leave the place soon after, hopped in the cab and returned to the hotel room. My cousin dropped me on the Heavenly Bed and I passed out while she managed to run out for some McD's (I didn't even notice.) She had to leave really early in the morning and when I finally woke up with the biggest hangover ever...I realized that the opened bottles of liquor was making me more nauseous and I spent quite some time by the porcelain god. What was worse in this whole ordeal is having to clean up the mess before I checked out (trust me, being near booze after a night like that...it's enough to make you never want to see the liquor store again!). And all the clothes my colleagues left behind, I figure they would want them back...they left me no bag to carry them in so I had to just pick them all up and left the hotel and walk to my car which was a few blocks away. Hungover, with clothes in my hand and looking much worse than how i felt...in the early hours of the day...

A Walk in My Shoes

If you know me, you know I like to wear heels (actually all kinds of shoes...I love shoes...., just short of Imelda Marcos' impulses because I lack her deep pockets..hehe)...and if I find a nice pair of stilettos, it's a bonus when they are comfy! And luckily for me, I actually own a pair of these! I know I am able to walk in them, dance in them and still feel pretty good after a night out just kickin' it. However, I've learned that there are limits, even with great things.

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It has definitely been awhile since I had the chance to blog, let alone, sleep, eat and do things in my so-called 'past' life since i started a new job. Job, that in itself will be the next blog entry...but let me finish this one...have to think back to this particular night..it is definitely worth noting...and now...giggling about. Looking back and laughing at the things I do, is one of the more amusing things in the day...thankfully!

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So the last-minute change of drinking partners for the night may have been a foreshadowing for the night's festivities. Sometimes you just have to go with it and let it rip. Regardless of not really knowing the crowd at the club, I had my dancing shoes on and was ready to have some fun. Sat down with Militant A to have a bevy...which led to two and then it led to not even remembering how many. The uncertain number was a result of enjoying the conversation and company and then after the music decided to repeat itself, we decided to hit the dance floor.

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Ok, memory is slowly starting to allude me...schedule has been crazy and I've finally got some downtime..ie. sleep..and developed a taste for certain grape varietals...hehe..who am I kidding...work is going to drive me to join AA...fortunately, alcohol consumption is at a moderate pace. So..back to oh..two months ago..

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Oh yes, dancing, that was fun, like the adage of dance like no one's watching goes...we found ourselves surrounded by a couple of young puppies who "just wanted to dance with somebody"..but dude..you're in my space and I just really wanted to dance with my friend! With my stilettos on, the kids haven't grown to their potential. Gotta give them props for bravery tho...the older fellas should take note. After a couple more twirls on the dance floor, we decided (Mili told the cab, "home please) that it would be best if I crashed at her place since it's closer to work in the morning for me (yeah, in a few hours)...good call.

* * *

Some laughter erupted from going through the night's events over instant noodles...disturbed the sleeping roomie who laughed at our semi-drunken state and passed out watching an episode of SATC. Big, Carrie, Aidan, Shoes. Sweet Dreamin'...

* * *

Woke up and got ready for work...why did I decide to work on Saturdays...no change of clothes (oh my, party clothes at work?)...and hmm..stilettos on hardwood floors...need to walk to Starbucks. Need coffee. In what would normally be a 15-minute walk to work, it took FOREVER. In stilettos, in last night's clothes...it felt like a walk of shame...(haha...if you're laughing, you've been there and I can elaborate on the next entry cuz it's a good one!) Walking slowly and in a straight line, hoping that my feet will last me the next 8 hours...the only day I decide not to leave my car downtown but at home....the day that my oh-so-reliable brother decides to head down to the States, the day I may have to take public transit (princess does not take the bus)...the day..oh, my cousin decides to drop in the store to pay a visit and offer me a ride home. My shoes AND my feet were saved.