Truth About Cats & Dogs

Things have been so crazy lately that it's taking me awhile to put up some thoughts...some thoughts are not meant to be forgotten and I am using this tool in case I ever develop Alzheimers (I would not hope it on anyone!).

If ever there were moments when you would wonder what makes one tick, some quotes from some guys are definitely not helping with my analysis of the male gender.

Indecent Proposition...

Me: So how's it going with all the girls in hawaii?

The Carleton: None. If I can't find anyone to marry here, I think I'd have to marry you so we can exchange visas.

Me: Hmm...with both of us in the wedding profession, that was by far the most unromantic proposal I've ever heard! Let me wipe that tear away!

Leads to...

Me: Is it weird knowing that your ex-gf married someone so quickly after your breakup?

Flaky*: Hmm...it was only after ten months.

Me: Was he different than you?

Flaky: There was no improvement.

Me: *speechless*.

And then those that make you really wonder what goes on in guys' heads...

Me: Let me ask you some questions to help figure out what type of girl your gf is....does she have siblings? Brothers and sisters?

MetroBoy**: Yeah, she comes from a big family. Three older sisters and one younger brother.

Me: Ahhh...trying to go for the boy huh?

MetroBoy: Yup...the parents really didn't want her.

Me: EXCUSE ME?

MetroBoy: Well, don't u think they would stop earlier if they had the son sooner?

I have yet to figure out any of these characters...not quite sure yet if I want to know more...

*Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
**Name to be explained in future post.

Mr. Whiffy...smell yourself!

I always tell my friends that I prefer to date Asian fellas because they usually have less body odor than most. We concluded that maybe it had to do with the lack of hair on their bodies (thank goodness!) but tonight, Jellybean and I got a whiff of something too aromatic for our sensitive noses.

We lucked out and got Mr. Whiffy to be our server at a wedding. Not only did he leave something less desired, he had the grouchiest face for a person in the service industry. After much anticipation for the food because it was so delayed, we were happy to see that the service began for the tables. Mr. Whiffy leaned over to place individual portions of each dish on the lazy susan and Jellybean was fortunate enough to sit in his pathway. The look on her face changed slowly but dramatically as she sniffed the air under his armpit. Unpleasant...yes. Bearable...barely. Holding her breath became a contest each time he approached the table. It also possibly caused us to lose our appreciation of the ten-course meal as he would lean over for each course.

My myth of asians being without body odor is now dashed. Mr. Whiffy was one smelly cat!

One for the Memory Cards

At another one of our six-month rituals, Lemon already highlighted the major events of the evening but I really want to show one of the highlights I noticed on my camera the next day.

Given that Stinky gave me the drink that did me over for the evening, ("I don't get it, how come you got so drunk...hehe...OH..was it the double I bought you last night?...he..hehehe") I might as well show you what I captured in my inebriated state. Thank goodness for image stabilization!

Daily Shenanigans

Lychee and I were catching up and discussing what opportunities there may be to meet new faces...

Lychee: What do you mean? What is there to do?

Me: Something different than just working?

Lychee: I wake up, go to work, go home, sleep.
I wake up, go to work, work with gay guys, go home, sleep.
I wake up, go to work, work with gay guys, check out other guys with said gay guys, go home and sleep.

Lychee: Although, I don't know if the eye candy is gay or not....

Me: Dude, you gotta get out more.

What do I know, and the day after our conversation, my friends decide to head to a bar/club/lounge for the sake of ...staying out - how can the girls say no to free cover and the guys to $5 cover?? What have we got to lose? Maybe my sanity? This was an establishment whose reputation was for foreign exchange students and on average for those just making legal age with their fake IDs. The PM Crew strolled directly to the dance floor with the neon lights to strut their stuff. To their right were the Napoleon Dynamite wannabees with almost all the right moves but Napoleon did it first, I must admit, it was great the first time. "OH MY, the black light on that dude's white socks are blinding me!!!" To their left were the girls with high hopes of getting into the next reality show with their choreographed dance moves. Ums...no comment.

At a place where one is to have some fun, we find Pizza Lover reading the paper...cuz that's what he always does at clubs. So in a place purely not meant for us, I get approached by a fella who asked what my nationality was and if I was still in school. "Dude, I'm so much older than you." And my friends loved it so much they captured the moment on a memory card. With such experiences, I'll stick to "I wake up, go to work, go home, sleep." However, stepping outside the comfort zone slow once in awhile...not so bad...

Survivor: Hair Segregation

A colleague is about to head to the tropics and besides her dilemma of how many bikinis to bring (last count was about 7), she's been contemplating how she should get waxed. Yes, great conversation topic at the office but breaks up the time staring at spreadsheets. So based on which bikini she was going to bring, (ie. white verses non-white) she will have to decide to go brazilian or leave a landing strip. Her decision: "There will be no survivors today!"